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One of the greatest experiences in life is the sense of invincibility that comes with youth. This feeling can stretch on for years and years. ‘Fear’ and ‘consequence’ aren’t a part of your lexicon; you knee is perpetually scraped; your Mum is forever washing dirt and blood off your clothes, and the hardest decision you have to make is whether to watch Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network.
These are good years. Good years indeed. But as adolescence moves into adulthood the freedom and fearlessness we once enjoyed inevitably begins to ebb away, until we are left, fragile and alone.
The adult.
Here are some of the tell-tale signs that your days of childish abandon and fun are long behind you. May God have mercy on your soul.
1. 10pm doesn’t sound like such a bad time to go to bed - Oh to be young and full of energy. As the years roll on your bedtimes become earlier and earlier until you can barely make it to the end of Eastenders without drifting off.
2. The newspaper gets more interesting - You find your impulse to turn to the comics section delayed by an interesting story about recycling and a local bring-and-buy sale where you could flog your useless trinkets of youth to other sad saps and their little brats.
3. Your back aches a bit - Yes, they say that ergonomic chair is doing your posture wonders, but with the world weighing more and more on your shoulders these days it’s tough to get upright without a little crick and a groan.
4. You start to worry about ‘long-term goals’ - you look back at your younger self and think about the frivolous decision-making you used to do. Then you look at the mess that got you in and decide it’s time to start taking your life and career seriously. Before having a little cry.
5. You enjoy the hoovering - nothing makes you happier than a clear, crumbless floor. A tidy house makes for a tidy mind, and you find it difficult to sleep knowing there’s a pile of dirty plates downstairs or a dust bunny under the bed ready to roll out as your disapproving parents arrive for afternoon tea.
6. Hangovers start to stretch into infinity - In your teens you could drink a barrel of turpentine and lighter fluid and still come up smelling of roses the next day. These days half a shandy and a drop of red are enough to send you over the edge of Pleasant-Buzz Borough into Pain and Misery City. Expect dry mouths, paranoia and self-loathing the morning after the night before.
So, what camp do you fall into? Still riding the highs of youth? Or slumping exhausted into a moth-eaten armchair of adulthood? Let me know in the comments.
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Grant Bailey is a writer for Wipe Easy Tablecloths. Clinging to youth by his fingertips, he dreads the oncoming days of hair loss, mortgages and ironing.
Filed under: Guest Blog Tagged: Adult, Cartoon Network, Decision making, Dust bunny, EastEnders, Nickelodeon, Youth Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
Image may be NSFW.Clik here to view.
